When I first began my journey of spiritual development and enlightenment, I started doing some serious soul searching and the first and most important question I had to ask myself was … do we even have a soul?
As a kid, I remember believing that everybody was born with a guardian angel
Yes, as a kid I firmly believed that there was this thing that was constantly with us, watching over us and providing guidance to those who listened.
This belief was not something I had been taught nor that I had heard about. For as far as I can remember, it was just this pure innocent knowledge or gut feeling that there was this force guiding and helping us through life.
One day I was riding my bike with my parents. I must have been no older than 4 or 5 years old. I recall being on the sidewalk and wanting to race my parents. So I started to pedal really fast to get ahead of them. As I was gaining speed, my little legs pushing the pedals as fast as they could, I suddenly heard this voice in my mind telling me to stop. Actually, it was more like yelling me to stop ! Stop ! STOP ! I could hear it loud and clear and even if at first I was a little confused I knew this voice, knew that I could trust it and so I immediately hit the brakes. At that exact moment, a speeding car brushed past me and ran into a tree only a few meters in front of me.. at the precise place where I would have been if I hadn’t stopped my bike. I remember the fear in my parents eyes as they ran towards me, hugging me and asking me if I was alright. That day I understood at a deeper level that I indeed had this guardian angel watching over me.
Unfortunately, over the years, this belief began to slowly fade away
Growing up, I was looked at strangely when I talked about my guardian angel and about this voice that was providing me with guidance. No one around me ever mentioned such a thing as a guardian angel, quite the contrary actually. Maybe I was wrong ? Maybe there was no such thing ? It’s probably all just my imagination I started saying to myself … So slowly I gave in to doubt to the point that I completely rejected the notion.
It took me years to reconnect with that guiding voice
Many many years later as I was at a Vipassana meditation retreat, these memories slowly began to resurface. I started to remember and hence it brought me to reconsider with a different standing point what that guardian angel of mine really was. Could it have been my soul ? My higher-self ? But hey wait a second.. is there even such a thing as a soul ? a higher-Self ? Over the next few weeks, I would explore that question in dept. I did a lot of soul searching through deep meditation and received many insights on that matter.
But I think the most important insights I got on this matter came to me through a book.
During my whole Vipassana retreat there was this woman that always sat in front of me during mealtime and having to observe the rule of the golden silence, I could not interact with her. But something about her energy made me drawn to her. At the end of the 10 day course, I finally got to speak with her. While we were talking, at some point she mentioned a book called ‘Journey of Souls’ by Dr. Michael Newton. Something about that book really resonated with me and so I promised myself I would read it.
Reading ‘Journey of Souls’ was more than a revelation for me.
Every page just brought up memories and insights about different aspects of life and death and everything that happens in between. It felt like a re-discovery of things that somehow at the core of my being, I found I knew instinctively as a child.
This book was really powerful for me and it really made me realize that we do not have a soul, we are a soul.
Dr. Michael Newton made me understand that not only does the soul exist but also that ”we are divine but imperfect beings who exist in two worlds, material and spiritual. It is our destiny to shuttle back and forth between their universes through space and time while we learn to master ourselves and acquire knowledge. We must trust in this process with patience and determination. Our essence is not fully knowable in most physical hosts, but Self is never lost because we always remain connected to both worlds.”
With time I have come to a greater understanding of what as a kid I knew and felt instinctively. Through meditation, memories of past lives started to come to me and even information about my soul-contract (more on that in an other post). I have come in touch with the core of my being and have reconnected with a long lost friend, my guardian angel. Today I cherish this relationship with my soul and have found many insights and guidance in listening to it.
I have come to learn that whether you call it soul, spirit, guardian angel, angel, higher-Self, spirit or whatever other etiquette you may have given it does not matter. I also know that for some these concepts may come as a shock due to our preconceptions and may even go against philosophical, scientific and religious beliefs. But I do hope that there are those of you who will find it resonating with your inner truth.
The first and most important Soul searching question remains : so… do we have a Soul ?
In the mist of the eternal debate between religion, science, philosophy and reason over its existence or nonexistence, I do believe that the truth remains in yourself and that it is yours to discover.
Lots of love beautiful Souls,